A lesson in wiring money

Friday afternoon, I got a call...

Chris: Hey Alex, I'm on my way to the Mall of America.
Me: That's awful.
Chris: Well, anyway, grandpa's credit card stopped working, and I don't have my debit card...so could you wire me some money?
Me: (grumble grumble) How much?
Chris: I was thinking like, maybe, 300 dollars or something.
Me: !!!

There was more to the conversation, like me asking how he was so unprepared, but that's beside the point. And honestly, $300? I know it's the Mall of America, but there's not really a whole lot you can buy there that you can't get somewhere else (cheaper). So I tell him that I'll see what I can do. I didn't realize how dire the situation was, as I got a call at 6:45 IN THE MORNING about it.

Chris: Hey, sorry to wake you.
Me: @%$##%@!!!
Chris: So, Katie's car broke down, we're stuck in this place called Albert Lea...she's taking it to a place to get it fixed...so, could you wire me that money?
Me: Chris, if you don't pay me back, I will take it out of your hide. Or your XBox 360.

You see, my brother is not the best with money. I need some assurance that I will get paid back. So, after I hung up, I decided to try Western Union's website. I put in all of my personal information, the recipient information, and hit confirm. Wells Fargo has this thing where I have to enter in my WF password right before the transaction, as a way to protect against fraud. So I did, and it says that my transaction can't be processed. I try a second time, same thing. I call Chris back and tell him that there's something wrong with the website, and that I'll wake up later and go find a place to do it physically.

So around 10:00 or so, I get another call:

Chris: So, um, I think we might be stranded here until Monday, because Katie had to get her car towed to Minneapolis. So...I think I might need a bit more money to last me until then.
Me: How much is a bit more?
Chris: Like...400 or 500?
Me: !?!?!

Honestly, $500?? I could eat sushi for every meal for a whole weekend and stay in a huge hotel room and barely reach half of that. I wasn't gonna worry about it though, as long as he was going to pay me back. So I head to the TCF bank at the Jewel nearby. I call Western Union on their neat little phone, get my confirmation number, and take it to the teller. "Hi, I'd like to send $450, please" (since the charge on that was $44), and I handed over my debit card. "Sorry, we only take cash." Now, I don't know about you, but I certainly do not walk around anywhere with $500 in my pocket, much less in Chicago. So I head over to the TCF ATM, and punch in that I want $500. "Sorry, you are over your daily limit." I try $400. The same. I finally get it to let me take $200 out, and it says "Transaction failed: please take receipt." Huh? I try again, and get the same error.

Frustrated, I leave the place, and try the sketchy-looking "Money Exchange" located across the street. I see a sign when I enter, with a Western Union logo and the phrase "We accept major debit cards!" written on the top. I walk to the teller. "Hi, I'd like to wire some money with my debit card." "We only do cash." "You...don't take any debit cards?" "We only do cash." There's an even sketchier-looking ATM there, so I try that. Not only does it not give me any cash, but the receipt printer is jammed. I decide to go home and call Wells Fargo to see if somebody's taken all of my money.

So it turns out, my mistake was made at around 7 a.m. I talk to one of their customer service people, and they inform me that a freeze has been put on my account. I was relieved, since that meant nobody else could steal my money, in theory. I ask why, and they inform me that they've decided to freeze accounts that use Western Union's online service, since there were so many fraud claims coming through. I ask to up my daily ATM limit to $500, and I thank the lady on the other line. Chris has called me about 10 times now, asking if I've sent the money yet. I don't know what his hurry is; perhaps he's on the wrong end of a drug deal and would like to keep all 10 fingers. I stop for lunch, and head to Jewel. I still had to take the money out in 200s, swallowing their $2.00 fee every time. It's now 3:45 p.m. Weary, I stumble up to the counter, do the phone thing again, and hand over $500 to the teller. I get $6 in change. As I walk out, I call my brother:

Me: Ok Chris, 9 hours later, I have sent your money. I hope you realize that I took my entire day off to do this, and you had better pay me or else I will -
Chris: Ok thanks a lot bye.

So, there's some valuable lessons to be learned here. One, if you're planning to head out on a long trip, it's wise to bring extra money. Two, if you screw up lesson one, you aren't allowed to call somebody at 7 a.m. about it unless it's an emergency. The Mall of America is not an emergency. Three, if you're going to use Western Union, don't. It's not worth the hassle.